My nephew was at C—'s house stacking wood today. I walked up to where he was working just as he was wrapping up the job and I began folding a big tarp used to cover the wood pile. Without a word he took the other end of the tarp, which was spread on the driveway, and began to help. There were no spoken directions and the most significant gesture was a glance or a tip of the head in one direction or another. The task was finished quickly and the tarp was stored for next year.
M— went into the house for a moment before he collected his things and made his way back home. I waited for him to come outside...there was something I wanted to tell him. When he stepped onto the patio I called him over and I told him this: I've worked for a company for many years and we hire young guys to work the jobs with us. Many of those guys don't get how to do a simple task like folding a tarp with someone and they're hard to work with because of it. M—, you've been playing high school football and it taught you something you might not even be aware of—something not all guys can do—and it makes a big difference: You've learned how to be a team player, you work with the other guys and you coordinate your efforts with them. It's a big part of becoming a man.
I remember my dad had a book that said you should catch people doing something right and make some noise about it. It puts a fire under them. Well, it's a good rule to live by and I try to find those moments. I caught M— doing something well and I let him know he'd done a good job—I was proud of him—because it's exciting to see him becoming a good man. That's worth putting a fire under.
Leave a comment